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Another tug and a yank at my chestnut curls and she snarls at me, “You are so much like her.”
This is something my mother often says and never explains. Though it is a great mystery to me it is also a blessing, for she always hurries from the room after saying it.

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Oh, he did look like a deity – the perfect balance of danger and charm, he was at the same time fascinating and inaccessible, distant because of his demonstrated flawlessness, and possessing such strength of character that he was dismaying and at the same time utterly attractive in an enticing and forbidden way.

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You can speak to me like you haven’t spoken even to yourself.

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She says it is a school for bluestockings which, according to her, is really only a fashionable way of saying it is a school for ugly girls who cannot find suitable husbands. To tease her, for I believe it is one of his greatest pleasures in this life, my father bought a pair of blue silk stockings for me the day we received my letter of acceptance. That evening and the next, father and I dined alone.

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Strength and victory... What he would never praise himself for, but whose loss was his most obsessive fear.

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I never really wanted to die. But I followed through anyway. The pain in my heart was excruciating, and death was beautiful.

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Have a look around, my pretty, we are surrounded by Death in all forms – just the two of us are still alive –

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I’d love to try to tame you... And I would simply adore it if you turn out untamable –

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The questions push me further into the space in between, the place where my madness lays waiting for me. I struggle with each question, determined to extract some sort of answer, an explanation for everything that has happened so far. But no answers come and I’m forced to acknowledge the feeling lodged between my two worlds
Terror.

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I always am in a role, lovely – for you, for them – even for myself. Yeah... Even when I’m alone, I am still in a role – and I myself am the most exacting audience I have ever had.

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Insane love.
Loving insanity.
Insanity and love...

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I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.

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I cannot ever imagine a time or place in which I will not love you. I am willing to do whatever it takes.

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The utter unbroken silence was more appalling than any ominous noise, than the loudest yells of anguish, than the most piercing screaming...
Dead silence.
Literally dead.

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I can see how your mother would have a point. Having a debate with a politically minded woman can be intriguing and even entertaining but to share a house with her and have her always campaigning and protesting at the dinner table,” he slanted his gaze down toward me. “That could be very tiring indeed.

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Everybody is equally weak on the inside, just that some present their ruins as new castles and become kings –

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And I wasn’t playing a role – I was trying to be myself.
But the harder I was striving, the more I was realizing that I had probably lost that ‘myself’ somewhere between two perfectly performed roles...

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The wavelets flung themselves up as if trying to pat my feet and I darted back, laughing, and picked up my skirts to chase them back as they receded, in a game of tag more ancient than I then knew.

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Even I don’t know myself... In fact, I don’t know if I really have a self at all, as I’m constantly playing different roles and pretending – not so much on stage as in real life...