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Q: What do I have in common with Tottenham?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Champions League final on television.

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Q: Did you hear that Tottenham Hotspur doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

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Q: What do you call a Tottenham Hotspur fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

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Q: What do you call an Tottenham Hotspur fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

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Q: What’s the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Tottenham Hotspur tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Spurs tickets.

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Q: What do you say to a Tottenham Hotspur supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo

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Q: What is the difference between a Tottenham supporter and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

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Q: Whats the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

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Q: What is the shortest book in the world called?
A: Intelligent Tottenham supporters.

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Q: Why do Tottenham blokes drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Manchester!

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Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Tottenham Hotspur Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Tottenham Fan. Twice.

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Q: What does a Spurs fan do when his team has won the Champions League?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

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Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So Tottenham supporters can get laid too.

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Q: What’s the difference between a fat chick and a Spurs striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

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Q: How do you stop a Spurs supporter from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey!

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Q: Why did God make Tottenham Hotspur supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

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Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Spurs fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

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Q: What’s the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Tottenham Hotspur?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

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Q: What is the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer!

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Q: What do you call 5 Tottenham fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.